Afterthought #6 - Stop Complaining

Choosing to defy my training

One line from yesterday hasn’t left me:

“He had learned early how to make himself smaller.”

That wasn’t just his skill.

I learned my own version of it early.

How not to add weight.
How to stay out of the way.
How to disappear without leaving the room.

I carried it into adulthood.
Into friendships.
Into my own house.

After my father died, I didn’t cry for a long time.

Not because I didn’t feel it.

Because staying functional felt safer than being seen.

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Writing this week didn’t feel brave.

It felt exposed.

But exposure is the opposite of what I was trained for.

And I’m no longer interested in disappearing quietly.